Actual Thoughts

Yeah I know I haven't actually blogged with some real thoughts in awhile, only updates and pictures. I miss blogging - I love writing. Oh and did I mention I'm writing a book? Yeah, that'll be another 15+ years before I finish it. Somehow it's easier to blog than write chapters of a book.

I got to thinking about how much of our lives we actually live for our very own self. I found an old college buddy on Facebook and was looking at how beautiful her pictures were of her and her kid. Then, I read some of her posts about working out for 3+ hours a day, eating disgusting meals, etc, etc. So, yeah, to look that great takes sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. And planning and dedication. And to me, sadness that certain things have to be sacrificed. I know a lot of people could say that they enjoy working out. Sure. I'm definitely not one of them. But do they enjoy feeling guilty about missing a work out? Or feeling guilty about splurging on a most tasty meal? I just wish there was an in-between where you're not super skinny but you're not obese, just healthy. And all of society liked this in-between.

Then it made me think about how everyone at my job that gets promoted is SUPER fake and annoying but yet they get promoted. I mean, to be that dedicated to fake, you have to practice it pretty much all the time, right? So when are they real? I mean, who are they really? Do they even know? Just a fake person imitating a fake personality. Why do people like that?

I have always had a hard time in life mainly because I don't think before I talk. And while I definitely think that this is a problem and needs to be worked on and controlled better, I also think that some people find it as a breath of fresh air. But at the same time, I am never rewarded for this trait. I am always thrown under the bus but secretly admired for being able to say what I think. I find this extremely frustrating. I am extremely happy with who I am, even with my zillions of faults while others who are constantly questioning what they just said, thought, did because they are afraid to look bad in front of others are applauded for this.Why is it so horrible when I say something that is true but "not nice"? Wouldn't the world be a better place if more people heard the "not nice" version of things? I mean, isn't that true life?

I guess it just drives me nuts because I admire people with the most sense. Common sense is a precious gem to me and not a lot of people have it. But yet, the most moronic people seem to get ahead in life. I guess it's people like me who are always the ones to stir up controversy and change but it would be nice if the people with the most common sense could win a little bit more. If we could see more people at the top that aren't fake. Making decisions that aren't "safe". Making people mad. Telling people not what they want to hear but what they need to hear. I'm sure there's a negative to this somewhere along the way, but I'd like to see someone at least try.   ;)