First things first, I got a Kindle. I love it! If anyone knows me they know that I can read really fast. This lovely talent came from not having a TV growing up so that really increased the value of my life. Or not. Obviously this should help in school but the thing is that if I don't find it interesting then I don't read as fast. So really this just applies to "reading for fun" books. And I have gone through quite a few books with this thing now. My mom and I both have one so she'll read something she likes, text me and tell me and I'll get it right then and I'll do the same thing for her. I really am in love with it. It's just another reason I don't blog anymore.... ;)
As for my precious Caleb, a victim of not being the first born. Meaning, no pictures of him. Poor thing. The only pictures I do have of him are ones that my sister-in-law takes of her first born that just happen to include Caleb. He does have dimples though and I do want to snap a picture of those because they're pretty big dimples. But once he gets big enough to hold his head up I will get my friend Heather, who is an amazing photographer, to take more family pictures of us. Until then, I will have to try and get a few. But Caleb is doing awesome. At 4 weeks he started sleeping 8 hours a night. He's also a very low maintenance child until he knows that I am stressed out or have to take care of Tristan at the same time. Then, he acts up. Of course. :) Luckily, Tristan's babysitter is still watching Tristan during my maternity leave. Seriously, I don't know how stay-at-home moms do it. I would go bonkers. I had Tristan and Caleb together by myself the last 2 days because the babysitter had to get surgery and I seriously thought about suicide. It's intense. Of course, I think I have the worst possible ages to be put together right now. Caleb, the newborn, can't do anything for himself and Tristan also can't do anything for himself but who is also developing his temper and discovering tantrums right now. I think if Tristan was a year older it would probably be easier. That way, he could do some stuff for himself and probably not be so terrible with his anger. Who knows. Either way, I have to hand it to stay-at-home moms. If I were one, I would drink more.
Speaking of moms, I have been thinking about the topic of first time moms and why my experience as one was so different than most. Most women have a really hard time leaving their child for the first time, and maybe even more times after that. I had no problem at all. In fact, I welcomed the break. I knew that Tristan had no idea that I wasn't there and therefore he wasn't suffering from me being gone. On the other hand, if I didn't take a break, I would be suffering from a mental breakdown. But I know this isn't normal. Most women have a very difficult time leaving their child with a person or even taking a break at all. But I wish for their sake, it was easier because every mom needs that break. I firmly believe that listening to a baby's cry over and over again can make a person go insane, literally. I never understood 'Shaken Baby Syndrome' until I had a baby. But it makes sense to shake something to get it to stop crying because nothing else seems to work. I think you have to have that break so you can get back in touch with reality and talk to adults that don't cry for no reason. Time and time again, I've tried to warn new mothers-to-be that the most important thing they can do is take care of themselves but every time it never happens. But honestly, I don't know why it was so easy for me. I think I have too many male attributes to hang onto basic maternal instincts. Don't get me wrong, I am a fantastic mother and very protective of my children but only of the things that make sense to me. I would never let other children pick on my children for no reason. But at the same time I want to teach my children to stand up for themselves. But constantly holding my baby or refusing to let them EVER cry don't make sense to me. It's not possible. I mean, it might be possible but after 6 months of it the mother is more than likely drowning those kids in a bathtub. Seriously. You can't keep your kids from all the bad things in life when they're older so what makes you think you can when they're babies? Just because you have more access to them? It makes for a very unhappy mommy and more than likely it makes for a very unhappy daddy who can't understand the mommy and her feelings. And really, kids need their moms and dads to get along more than they need their moms to prevent them from crying. Of course I can say all this because I don't have to fight any urges to do otherwise. If anyone knows Vincent and I, they know that he has more tendencies to be the "woman" and I have more tendencies to be the "man". This works for us because we're balanced but it's odd because it's not the norm. I am certainly not girly and enjoy hanging out with guys watching TV and drinking beers. Vincent, on the other hand, lives for gossip. This made things easier for having our first child. Vincent was definitely nervous leaving Tristan with babysitters the first time but he wasn't fighting natural maternal instincts and he definitely didn't cry about it. With all this being said, I do wish there was a way to make it easier for first time moms to leave the house and relax. Moms of all people deserve it. They do a lot more than they're given credit for. They don't deserve to go through 9 months of hell, then a grueling number of hours of giving birth just to turn around and suffer from terrible feelings in order to get a break. Pharmaceutical companies should create a pill to help first time mothers think of themselves every once in awhile. I mean, they have drugs for every other topic under the sun. Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Other than that, life is busy, as usual. In a few weeks my dad, Caleb and I are flying out to Georgia to visit my grandparents. My grandfather wants to meet Caleb and since I am off of work it is a great time to go. I started classes last night and it looks like now I'll be graduating in the summer, hopefully. I was 1 point away from passing Accounting last semester so I have to take it again. I HATE accounting. Vincent is aggravated with me because Accounting was so easy for him and I am struggling with it. It's like a foreign language to me. I wish that if you had no intention of EVER using a subject, like Accounting, that you didn't have to take it. I know Vincent would kill me for saying this but if I could pay someone to pass this class for me, I would. Ugh, it's that bad. Also, we still haven't sold our house yet. We got rid of our real estate agent and need to find another one before we put it back on the market again. I hate this house. I mean, I loved it when it was just me and Vincent and it was party central and we stayed up late drinking and playing beer pong but now that none of that happens and we have 2 children and more toys and crap than I can deal with, this house sucks. Anyone want to buy it???
Well, it looks like I have wrote a book so that should do for now. I really do promise to try and write more. As for pictures, I can't promise that. :)
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