The Tall Tales that Vincent Spins....

I should start a newspaper column on all the weird and wacky things Vincent says to me. Most all of them he makes up completely but a few of them come from a small fabric of truth and he just creates what he wants from it after that. I will share this one because it was especially random.
On Saturday I wake up to see my husband staring at me from his pillow. I quickly shut my eyes for fear of what would follow. Then I hear "I want to be a Mason". All that flashed in my mind were the glass mugs that I sometimes drink from. I decided to let him go ahead with this thought since I had no idea where it came from. "What are you talking about?" He then proceeds to tell me that Masons are a secret society that meet underground, have blood covenants, have secret meetings that no one has any idea what they do or say in or even where they meet, and that special invitations to become a Mason are given out once a year to 1 person. While he was talking I suddenly remembered about Masons. "Aren't they a fraternity?" He immediately got defensive and said that they certainly were not and that it was so secret that you could be in a room full of them and not have a clue but that they would know who the others were from little signals that went on. That's when I dared to ask "How do you know?" In a matter of fact voice he said "I had a dream about it." I decided as a back up method to his dream (even though it's completely reliable), we should look up information on Masons. We grabbed his Blackberry and looked it up. Here's what we found:

• A Mason is a member of a fraternity known as Masonry. (so it is a fraternity)


• The word “lodge” means both a group of Masons meeting in some place and the room or building in which they meet. Masonic buildings are clearly marked, and are usually listed in the phone book. (so much for meeting underground and wondering where they meet)


• Lodge activities are not secret picnics and other events are even listed in the newspapers, especially in smaller towns. Many lodges have answering machines which give the upcoming lodge activities. (so much for not knowing what Masons do)


• When a man decides he wants to be a Mason, he asks a Mason for a petition or application. He fills it out and gives it to the Mason, and that Mason takes it to the local lodge. (that does sound like 1 invitation per year...)


• Masons certainly don’t make a secret of the fact that they are members of the fraternity. (hmmmm, maybe the secret signal is a sign they wear that says "Mason")

We couldn't find anything about blood covenants so Vincent claims that one is the only actual truth he said. And of course when I prove him wrong he just giggles and says that he "might've" made some things up........gotta love it--keeps life interesting!